Hey Sis

I see you…

What you thought was forever has come to an end. You want to love again. You want to trust again. You want to feel alive again. But the thought of being that vulnerable, that intimate and learning someone all  over again feels terrifying.

This chapter of uncertainty, or low self-esteem, and broken heartedness may feel overwhelming, all consuming and never ending but it doesn’t have to be. This season could be the beginning of your boldest most honest self yet. 

I remember when I could see that my marriage no longer had a future.

I went through all 5 stages of grief.

I was in denial. This cannot be happening. This is supposed to be my fairy tale ending. There is no way my marriage is over.

I was angry. At myself. At my spouse. At God. Why me? Why do I have to go through this?

At times I thought there was something I could do to change the outcome. I would minimise the issues or think I needed to do something differently and it would all go away.

But when you realise those efforts are in vain, that’s when the sadness kicks in. It was a very low time for me. There was a heaviness. Loneliness. It felt like a dark cloud was over me while everyone else basked in the sun. I did not want to be around myself. I did not want to be around friends or family. I struggled to enjoy the things I used to enjoy - time with my children felt wearisome even though they brought the only glimmers of sunshine I could see. 

It was at the lowest and darkest point I started to feel fear. Not about what happens next but fear of the person I was becoming. Where was the bubbly, sunshiny person I was used to? The fear that she was being erased was enough for me to know I needed to do something, and quick. And slowly but surely, I took steps towards acceptance and began to rebuild.

So sis I get it…

But this does not have to be the end of your happiness, but the beginning of your butterfly moment. 

Embrace the new you

You are not who you were before and during the relationship. You know what you want. You know what you need. You have a chance to prioritise yourself and your growth. This is your time to appreciate the resilience and strength you have gained. You have learnt new things about yourself, and there is still more to come. Embrace it.

Do not be JADED

You do not have to justify, argue, defend or explain the transformation you are undertaking. Use this time to slow down, to pause and take stock of what this new chapter can be. Treat yourself with compassion. Build on your self-love. Reconnect with your power and purpose. Find peace even amongst the sadness. 

Be unapologetically you

Fingers may wag and whispers may be heard. There may be sadness and pity on your behalf. But don’t let that hold you back. You will have good days and not so good days. That’s okay. If you need to cry - do that. If you need support - find that. If you are ready to conquer the world - do you sis. The experience of the end of a relationship can mess with your confidence, question your value and your worth. But because this one has come to an end, that doesn’t mean a happy life is no longer your portion. Be more honest with yourself. This is a chance to be 100% unapologetically you. Who that ‘you’ is - is totally within your control.

Sis, wherever you are in your journey, know that you can leave the shadow of your sadness and walk into the light of a new chapter bolder brighter and better. 

You may have suffered heartbreak but you yourself are not broken. This is your chance to rebuild. This is your chance to grow. This is your chance to create the life you want. 

Walk with your head held high. Believe you deserve great things and walk boldly towards your goals. 

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And that's a wrap.

Until next time sis,

Walk Boldly